Lint by Steve Aylett

Author:Steve Aylett
Language: eng
Format: mobi, pdf
Tags: Bizarro, British Fiction, Postmodernism, Fiction
ISBN: 9781560256847
Publisher: Snowbooks
Published: 2005-05-23T00:00:00+00:00

Lint further claimed that Kennedy fired Allen Dulles after the Bay of Pigs disaster with the words ‘Pilot the floor of things and stretch like a caterpillar, Allen.’ He also stated that Kennedy named one of his dogs Stingray Hernia, that he told Richard Bissell ‘Don’t worry, I’m just a charismatic cloud’ when firing him, and that he asked J. Edgar Hoover ‘Why so crafty?’ and, turning to Bobby, answered his own question with ‘Perhaps he’s tired of being tiny and goggle-eyed, eh?’ at which the brothers exploded into sniggery laughter. Kennedy often gripped Hoover’s cheeks and flapped them like pants pockets. On one occasion Kennedy is said to have upended a barrel of fat over Hoover’s head and then kicked him down the stairs. Kennedy would flicker his eyelids rapidly when Hoover entered the room in order to give the little man’s movements a visually ‘Chaplinesque’ quality. In the face of such incidents, Lint claimed, ‘the Intelligence community became hostile to Kennedy’.

‘Who gave the order?’ Lint asked, and dismissed the orders of authority as a nonsense: ‘When you see clearly you will see how commands have no real basis. They begin at a point in mid-air that happens to be occupied by a person.’

But elsewhere in the book a handwritten note is reproduced, supposedly in LBJ’s hand, which says: ‘An accident or frivolity must retire his ambitions. Gills work together—let’s do the same. Love always, Lynny.’ Such flowery language doesn’t sound like Johnson, however. Even as Mac Wallace and his team were moving into position on the morning of November 22, LBJ put it more succinctly to his mistress Madeleine Brown: ‘That goddamn fucking Irish mafia bastard Kennedy will never embarrass me again.’

Even the conspirators’ mistakes fed into the desired result. The term ‘rifle among Oswald’s possessions’ passed into the evidence and Report despite the fact that it was an order, not an evidentiary observation.

Some of Lint’s assertions are, though harmless, unsupported by anything but his own truss. He seemed to add a bunch of witnesses who didn’t actually exist, such as the ‘Tiger Man’ and Mr. Cracklehat, a high priest who had to be ‘sewn into his morality each morning’. The Tiger Man appears to have begun as his name for marksman Billy Sol Estes, but then splits off to become a boss-eyed wondercat that capers cartoonlike through Lint’s scenario. Another witness was simply called the clown, and this chimera has taken on a life of its own in conspiracy circles to become known as the ‘Flaming Energy Clown’. Lint claims this jug-eared performer was responsible for the killing of Officer Tippit on Tenth Street less than an hour after the Kennedy hit and that the clown turned himself in a week later. The story is that the clown’s accomplice deliberately attracted cop attention by reckless driving and, upon being pulled over, signalled the clown to burst from the trunk with guns blazing. It seems the clown stated that the reason he had killed Tippit was the same reason he now came forward to confess it—that no one else had taken the responsibility.

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